FANDOM


An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)

+50

New York tenants turn on the heat

Minnesotans plant gardens

+40

Californians shiver uncontrollably

Minnesotans sunbathe

+35

Italian cars don't start

+32

Distilled water freezes

+30

You can see your breath

You plan a vacation in Florida

Politicians begin to worry about the homeless

Minnesotans eat ice cream

+25

Boston water freezes

Californians weep pitiably

Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

+20

Cleveland water freezes

San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA

Minnesota Vikings fans put on T-shirts----YEAH!!!

+15

You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!!

Minnesotans go swimming

+10

Politicians begin to talk about the homeless

Too cold to snow

You need jumper cables to get the car going

0

New York landlords turn on the heat

-5

You can hear your breath

You plan a vacation in Hawaii

-10

American cars don't start

Too cold to skate

-15

You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo

Miamians cease to exist

Minnesotans lick flagpoles

-20

Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you

Politicians actually do something about the homeless

People in Minnesota think about taking down screens

-25

Too cold to kiss

You need jumper cables to get the driver going

Japanese cars don't start

Minnesota Twins head for spring training

-30

You plan a two-week hot bath

Minnesotans shovel snow off roof

-38

Mercury freezes

Too cold to think

Minnesotans button top button

-40

Californians disappear

Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you

Minnesotans put on sweaters

-50

Congressional hot air freezes

Alaskans close the bathroom window

Two Harbors Minnesota Agates practice indoors

-60

Walruses abandon Aleutians

Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens

Boy Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby

-70

Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets

Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI

Lackore Boys start to complain while working on snowmobiles

-80

Polar bears abandon Baffin Island

Girl Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby

-90

Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles

Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer

-100

Santa Claus abandons North Pole

Minnesotans pull down earflaps

-173

Ethyl alcohol freezes

The University of Minnesota (Twin Cities Campus) closes

-445

Superconductivity

Lackore Boys quit working on snowmobiles.

-452

Helium becomes a liquid

-454

Hell freezes over

-456

Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

-458

Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460  (Absolute Zero)

All atomic motion ceases

The University of Minnesota-Duluth is closed

Minnesotans alert us as to how it's getting a mite nippy

 

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.