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Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter. "Forrest," Peter says, "we've heard quite a bit about you up here in Heaven. However, since Heaven is filling up fast, you must answer three questions correctly. One: What are the two days of the week that begin with a 'T', how many seconds are there in a year, and what is God's first name. You have one day to answer these questions. Good luck."


The next day the two meet up again. "Have you thought about your answers?" ask Saint Peter.


"Yup," replies Forrest.


"Good. Now you must give me the answer to the first question: What are the two days of the week that begin with a 'T'?"


"Oh, that's easy," Forrest replies, "Everyone knows that. The two days of the week that begin with a 'T' are 'Today' and 'Tomorrow'."


"That wasn't the answer I was looking for, but I guess I wasn't specific enough," Saint Peter admits, "I'll give you credit. Now for the next question: How many seconds are there in a year?"


"Well, that one was harder. So I thunk and I thunk and I finally reached the conclusion that the answer must be twelve."


"Twelve? How did you get that?"


"January second, February second, March second...."


"Okay, okay,"  allows Saint Peter, "I guess I wasn't too specific about that either, so I'll give you credit for that too. But there's no way you can slip through the third question: What is God's first name?"


"That's easy," Forrest says happily, "God's first name is Howard."


"Howard? What made you say that?"


"It's in the prayer. Everyone knows it."


"What prayer is this?"


"Lord, thy Heavenly Father, Howard be thy name......"

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